SHERRY (in the corporate lunchroom): What's that book you're reading? Is that ... Pat Buchanan?

STAN: Yeah. Pat Buchanan. I like politics. I'm also reading books by Thomas Sowell and Newt Gingrich.

SHERRY: Ugh. How disgusting.

STAN: Why is it disgusting?

SHERRY: Those are right-wing freaks.

STAN: Well, Sowell is a libertarian, not a right-winger. But so what? What makes these guys disgusting just because they have a different viewpoint than you?

SHERRY: Well ... they're fascists, for one thing.

STAN: Oh, really? What makes them fascists?

SHERRY: Because of all the meanness and hate. They're just like Nazis. And just as evil as far as I'm concerned.

STAN: So holding beliefs like small government, free markets, personal responsibility and such ... that's just as bad as putting people in gas ovens and performing human experiments?

SHERRY: The authors you read would probably do that if they could.

STAN: What evidence do you have for that?

SHERRY: It's obvious. They're like fascists with their closed minds.

STAN: And you have an open mind?

SHERRY: I'm a progressive. One of the things about progressives is that they tend to have open minds. We don't just follow mindlessly the things our grandparents believed.

STAN: Define an open mind.

SHERRY: OK. We consider new ideas. We don't blow things off simply because they contradict our upbringing. For example, when someone suggests we should all drive hybrid cars or pass anti-smoking laws, we listen. The Neanderthals you read reject those ideas without giving them a fair hearing.

STAN: Hmmm ... I have an idea. Why don't we perform a little experiment in open-mindedness. We'll go out to my car and turn on Rush Limbaugh, then we'll see what you think of whatever he's talking about.

SHERRY: Oh, gross! Forget it. I might throw up in your car and ruin the upholstery.

STAN: Why?

SHERRY: Because he's a jerk. I can't stand him.

STAN: But even if he is a jerk, he might be talking about something that merits consideration. You know, with your open-mindedness and all that.

SHERRY: No, I don't think I could handle all the meanness.

STAN: So you object to meanness?

SHERRY: Of course. Name-calling. Personal attacks. All that crap.

STAN: But in the few minutes we've been talking here, you've called conservatives and libertarians "fascists," "Nazis" and "evil," plus you said they'd probably commit crimes against humanity if they could. You've also tossed around words like "freaks," "Neanderthals" and "jerk." Doesn't that qualify as name-calling and personal attack?

SHERRY: Yeah, but it's true.

STAN: It's only your opinion that it's true. Don't you see the obvious hypocrisy here? You object to "jerks" and "freaks" because ... they call people names!

SHERRY: No. It's not hypocritical because those people really are all of those things.

STAN: And if I were to explain why you're wrong, would you give me a fair hearing? Would you carefully consider what I'm saying and mull it over before deciding whether I'm right or wrong?

SHERRY: Why should I do that?

STAN: Because you're making the claim of open-mindedness. An open-minded person would listen objectively and think it through -- then disagree.

SHERRY: I may be open-minded, but I'm not a fool.

STAN: But here's the flaw in what you're saying: Neither one of us is open minded in the sense you contend for. I'm not and you're not.

SHERRY: What are you talking about?
STAN: Nobody comes to a political issue with a blank slate. We all interpret ideas based on a taken-for-granted grid in our minds. It's made up of assumptions that we've all decided are true in advance. When I listen to, say, Nancy Pelosi, I'm apt to disagree with her because she so often contradicts my personal set of presuppositions.

SHERRY: Yeah, but YOU do it without thinking. Like a reflex.

STAN: That's where you're wrong. It took a lot of thinking ahead of time to develop a paradigm by which I can weigh Pelosi's statements quickly and decisively. You've done the same thing in developing your own paradigm. There's only one major difference between us.

SHERRY: And what's that?

STAN: I admit to having a bias -- or as you call it, "a closed mind" -- and you make the fraudulent claim of being without one. You and your progressive friends are no more open than anyone else. You just think you are.

SHERRY. All right, all right. Maybe you should get back to reading Goebbels, or whoever that is you're reading.

STAN: OK. And by the way ... thanks.

SHERRY: For what?

STAN: For not going out to my car and barfing on the upholstery.

SHERRY: Don't mention it.